Here's this year's top 10 movies, albums and tracks of 2021.
As ever, this list is naturally limited to what I've seen and heard.
For instance, there's plenty of films that I haven't been able to see, therefore they were not in the running. Licorice Pizza, C'Mon C'Mon, The Tragedy of Macbeth, Hand of God, Boiling Point are just a few...
But just so everyone knows... there are quite a few that are many people's favorites that I've decided to have off the list: Belfast, Don't Look Up, Spencer, No Time to Die, Tick Tick... Boom!, The French Dispatch and Suicide Squad are just a few. Some almost made the cut, while others were just disappointing given the expectations.
MOVIES
Spider-Man: No way home West Side Story Dune Pig Green Knight Judas and The Black Messiah King Richard The Last Duel The Power of The Dog Drive My Car
ALBUMS
Sufjan Stevens & Angelo de Augustine - A Beginner's Mind Sam Fender - Seventeen Going Under Little Smiz - Sometimes I Might Be An Introvert Tyler, The Creator - Call Me If You Get Lost Olivia Rodrigo - Sour Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah - New Fragility Sonic Silk - An Evening with Silk Sonic J. Cole - Off Season Arlo Parks - Collapsed in Sunbeams Doja Cat - Planet Her
TRACKS
Sam Fender - Dying Light Garrett Mahoney - Italics Sufjan Stevens & Angelo de Augustine - Back to Oz Jose Gonzalez - El Invento Kings of Convenience - Rocky Trail Jorja Smith - Burn Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah - Innocent Weight Future Islands - Peach Justin Bieber - Peaches (feat. Daniel Ceasar & Giveon) Kanye West - Junya
Really sad to hear about the passing of Jazz veteran Barry Harris at the age of 91 on Thursday, December 8th.
Harris, an accomplished jazz pianist, had played with legendary musicians such as Miles Davis, Cannonball Adderley, Dexter Gordon, Sonny Stitt, among many others.
Grounded in the sounds of bebop, Harris would eventually be featured in 2000 on a documentary about his career named Barry Harris - Spirit of Bebop.
Having established himself as one of the greats, it's no surprise that Harris would be awarded in 2000 in the American Jazz Hall of Fame for Lifetime Achievements & Contributions to the World of Jazz, a milestone that serves to establish his legacy within the cultural scene...
Being such a prominent name in the music scene, I feel very fortunate to have had the chance see him perform live back in 2011, after I was given three tickets to attend his gig at the Pizza Express Jazz venue in London.
The opportunity came after Portuguese jazz critic Jose Duarte had to give away his tickets due to unpredictable circumstances that made it difficult for him and his family to travel into the UK.
Gutted for not attending, particularly as as he was making the trip just to see legendary jazz pianist, Jose Duarte was advised by my Dad to pass on the tickets to me as to not have them go to waste.
Dad called me and asked if i was keen and went on to say that he had hired Harris to play in Portugal many years ago, while also adding that this was a chance of a lifetime as he was likely going to stop touring in Europe due to his condition.
I must confess I knew nothing about Harris - which likely prompted by Dad to be upset at me - but felt very flattered and privileged for the opportunity. I took those tickets and invited two friends of mine from CNN to attend it with me.
The gig, as you would expect from such an icon, was superb. Playing in front of a sold out venue, I recall feeling his presence in the room and within each note that he played, despite the constrictions that came along his age. Even addressing the audience seemed like a hard task... but not when he was hitting those notes on the piano. That looked and sounded effortless.
At the end of the gig i approached Barry and introduced myself. Said my Father was Duarte Mendonca, who organised Estoril Jazz in Portugal. Instantly memories started flooding in and we ended up sitting down and having a chat about those days in Portugal. By the time we start wrapping up the conversation, I ask if he doesn't mind taking a picture so i could show it to Dad. Harris greeted my request with a smile on his face and boom. Picture taken. What a moment!
I don't remember exactly what went down after that, but I probably must have spoken to my Dad the following day, telling him all about the gig, my chat and the picture - which I would have eventually send via email to him.
To my surprise, that same picture would be printed in a decent size and placed on my Dad's work desk...
More surprisingly though, the picture would also be featured in the jazz program for the following year's festival.
I was always incredibly proud of that, as i knew Dad was too. In same ways was just another confirmation that his love for music was living through me and that gave him a sense of mission that had been completed...
I guess in many ways, this is as much of a tribute to Barry Harris, as it is to my Dad...
May both reacquaint themselves again through their love of music... Maybe Dad will tell him all about the picture he had in his office...
Fun fact: this was the song by Vince Guaraldi that prompted Peanuts producer to approach Guaraldi to compose the soundtrack for the
unreleased 1963 documentary A boy named Charlie Brown. It was there
that the later designated theme song Linus and Lucy would come to
fruition.
It won the
1963 Grammy for best original jazz composition. It was taken from the 1962 album Jazz Impressions of Black Orpheus, which drew inspiration and played
tribute to the music from the 1959 Brazilian / French / Italian production Black
Orpheus, containing some of Brazil’s bossa nova royalty in its
soundtrack.
Soon
after my Dad’s passing in August, the family started making plans to
bring over his ashes to the family tomb in Olhāo, so that we could place him
together with his Mother, with whom he always said he wanted to be
"reunited" after she passed away at a very young age. Dad was 23 at the
time and that life event had a profound effect on him, given their
special bond.
As we started to make plans, I asked about his life in the Algarve.
Even though Dad was born in Lisbon, his side of the family was based in Olhāo where he lived for several years.
I
was told Dad lived in this big house, now abandoned and covered in
murals, which made it hard to miss. On top of that its architectural
style made it standout and a well-known spot in the city.
I shared the screengrab with my two brothers who immediately recognized the place.
“We drive past it all the time,” said my brother Alex.
Olhāo
is right next door to Tavira where my Dad's side of the family has
spent their holidays over many years, so naturally, bumping into that
place was to be expected.
It's
September and I'm days away from going to Tavira, where I decided to
take a morning to go on a road trip with my girlfriend, where we would
first go to the house and then to the cemetery where my Dad’s family is
at.
In
the 25/30 minute drive from Tavira, I could feel some anxiety building
up. I felt like we were off to an adventure, searching for fragments of
my Dad’s past, which were soon to be part of my own story.
As we arrived, we could see the house from a distance. It stood out in such a way, that it felt like it didn’t belong!
We
parked the car and took a moment to look at it before crossing the road
and walking all the way around, looking at each detail and admiring
every little corner. We took particular notice of the mural of a witch, which the "pointed roof" took the shape of her hat.
We
looked for an entrance, but most of it was blocked, only a small
entrance off the side in which you would need to crawl under. I didn’t
have the courage to do so, as it didn’t feel safe. I started taking
pictures, both wides and close ups.
I
handed over my phone to my girlfriend and asked her to take a couple of
stills of me standing on the front and back of the house. It all felt
surreal.
I saw a mailwoman speaking to another lady and approached them to ask if they were locals and knew anything about the house.
The
mailwoman says she is from somewhere else (Faro, perhaps?), but the
other lady instantly says that despite not being originally from the
area, she has lived there long enough that she can help.
I
asked her about the house and she says that it is known as “Chalet
Victoria”, owned by the wealthy family "Saias" for many years,
before it was sold to the city hall. But before any of that happened, it
used to be the property of businessman José Guerreiro Mendonça, my
great-grandfather, who had purchased the place from an Italian emigrant.
There he lived with his family, including his son Francisco Xavier
Mendonça (my Grandfather), both of which worked for the national bank
(Banco de Portugal) until the financial crash happened and they went
bankrupt.
As a consequence, they had no choice but to sell the house.
We
were in awe of this story, delivered with a great level of detail, to
the extent where she almost sounded like the local historian.
As
we thanked her and said our goodbyes, Carolina pulled out her phone and
went on Google to look the story up. Everything checked out.
We made our way to the cemetery to pay a visit to the family tomb and wrap up our morning.
Moments
later, I call my stepmother to tell her about our morning and how
everything we heard matched her version of the story except for one
thing. She believed the house was rented, but apparently our family
owned it and after selling it due to the crash, they lived in it as
tenants for a few more years before moving to Cascais.
Cascais,
I was told, was already a very dear place to my Dad’s family and due to
their long history and affection with the small village on the coast of
Portugal, my Dad would end up there as an adult, building his house,
starting his involvement with the jazz festivals and spending his days
there until his passing.
But his story begins in Olhāo, at a place unknown to me until now.
Filling
in those gaps and learning more about his life made me somehow closer
to him and offered me a physical and spiritual place that I can come and
visit whenever I’m down at the Algarve. It also provided me with
memories that I certainly won’t forget, tangled with this unfamiliar
sense of adventure and discovery.
It
felt like a great day, that I couldn’t help myself but make the
headline of this post “A Great Day in Olhāo”, after the iconic Esquire
picture “A Great Day in Harlem”, taken by Art Kane.
That picture, which
features some of the greatest jazz musicians of that time, has its own story with Dad... a story that like this one, I will continue to cherish
with all my heart and to remember each time I go back to my Dad's
place, as it continues to back hanged on his wall.
On Friday we lost one of the most musically gifted minds in showbusiness, Mr. Stephen Sondheim.
An all-time great, Sondheim's creative, insightful and sensitive soul created a body of work that will long live throughout history.
Only a few years ago was I awaken to his great collection of classics, due to my recently gained interest in the field.
I say recently because it took me years before I started liking musicals, which may come as a shocker to some given my interest in music, cinema and theatre.
Sure, growing up I had watched classics like My Fair Lady (1964) and The Sound of Music (1965), but they never really stucked with me.
It was only TheBlues Brothers (1980), All That Jazz (1979) and later on Moulin Rouge (2001) that I loved... So, It would be fair to say that I felt a certain lack of interest in watching anything within the genre.
It was only after coming to London and seeing them on stage that I started to become infactuated with the musical genre.
Since then, I've seen a variety of musicals such as The Lion King, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Waitress, Book of Mormon, Hamilton, among others... Within the many I've seen, two of Stephen Sondheim's masterpieces took my breathe away: West Side Story (which I only saw on TV during the pandemic) and Company (appropriatly I saw it at the Sondheim Theatre in London just a few seats away from Sir Ian McKellen).
West Side Story naturally became an instant classic in my eyes, due to the great pairing between Sondheim's lyrics and Leonard Bernstein's music... But it was Company that would later have a resounding effect in my life.
In many ways, its main character, Bobby, was someone that I could relate to, particularly when we reach the tune Being Alive, Sodheim's best song in my humble opinion.
I've heard many different renditions of that song.... From Neil Patrick Harris to Raul Esparza... even Adam Driver took a crack at it in Noah Baumbach's Marrige Story(2019)... All of them great, but one standsout the most... and that's Dean Jones.
It's a version that I've shared and talked about many times [1][2]... and what better time and reason to share it again than as a way to celebrate Mr Sondheim's legacy.
As I draw this post to an end, I would would also like take this opportunity to do two last things:
Remind those in London that Sunday in the park with George, another of Sondheim's great works, is hopefully coming to London in 2022, after it was cancelled due to the pandemic. This particular reannactment will star Jake Gyllenhaal and Annaleigh Ashford in the leading roles.
And finally, to encourage everyone to watch this celebration of Sondheim's 90th birthday, Take Me to the World: A Sondheim 90th Birthday Celebration.
No Time to Die (2021) has finally been released
in the cinemas, after consecutive delays due to the pandemic.
It was worth the wait!
Sure, it may not be quite at the same level as Casino Royale
(2006) or Skyfall (2012), but nonetheless a much needed upgrade from the disappointing Spectre (2015).
But more than its ability to bounce back from their latest
entry, it served as a great swan song for both James Bond and Daniel Craig in this
series.
For over 15 years and across five movies, we’ve been able to
witness something which we haven’t seen before: Bond’s character arc.
Since 2006, we have had a level of continuity across all motion
pictures which felt like uncharted territory. Whereas other films before Craig seemed to always present Bond as a finished product, with Craig we saw a development of the character, as well as the world he lives in.
In the first film,
we see a depiction of a very young and raw James Bond as he made his mark with
MI6. He falls in love and gets betrayed and heartbroken, thus explaining the beginning of his trauma and his difficulty to trust people.
The narrative serves as a catalyst for the sophomore entry Quantum of Solace (2008), where we see him on edge and on a quest for vengeance.
“Shoot first, ask questions later”, seemed to be his motto…
Some people didn’t like this as it seemed the most recurrent
criticism to the sequel in Craig’s Bond era. Bond came off as brute,
putting on his muscle and showing very little elegance and class. That,
however, feels to me like it was the intention… The point was to show a very
fragile Bond in the making, as he processed all these emotions through his
drive in getting back at the people that led to the death of the love of his
love.
Skyfall goes on to explore Bond’s character, by
offering us glimpses of his past, while also setting up Spectre, the evil organization behind the main occurrences in previous films.
This would of course be the subject of the fourth film of the series, one that
ended up being the most disappointing given storyline, the historical meaning
behind it, the cast and the success of Skyfall setting it up.
Overall, the
expectation was quite high and it failed miserably. You can’t help but wonder
how they messed it up so bad, when there was so much juice to squeeze out of
it.
And then we have No Time to Die.
As I started by saying, it is a large improvement over its
predecessor, bringing back full circle the character development we’ve been
seeing over the years.
The emotional depth on this latest and final entry was
something that had never reached this kind of level, prompting actress Léa
Seydoux to say that she even cried when watching it. Seydoux, back for her
second film in the Bond saga, was at the centre of No Time to Die – a film
that seemed to bring more women to the spotlight. Ana de Armas’ scene in Cuba
was terrific and left audiences asking for more, while Lashana Lynch iteration
of the “new 007” showed us she could have easily carried the movie by herself.
Need to also mention Ralph Fiennes’ take on M, which for the
first time since he took on the role, put his acting skills on display and
Jeremy Wright as Felix Leiter, who delivered one of the most important scenes
in the film.
On top of great character development, good addition of
characters and acting, the 25TH Bond film delivers on all the elements that
have made the franchise so popular.
Beautiful scenery (Italy never looked as good like their
display of Maratea), great sense of style (I want to buy the entire Bond
wardrobe, but the tan suit standout)), classic one liners (some of them good,
others not so much), camp moments, gadgets, chase scenes, plenty of action and - to my surprise - a good theme song from Billie Eilish.
Oh, and lots of nods to the Bond movie legacy and his
writer, Ian Fleming.
But it came with its flaws… many flaws!
Rami Malek’s Lyutsifer Safin was – alongside Christoph
Waltz’s Ernst Stavro Blofeld – a total dud.
Aside from the opening act, the main antagonist never really
posed a threat, played into all the silly cliches and just overall fell flat.
Some of the dialogues were painful to witness, from his motivation to his
exchanges with Bond.
There were plenty of incoherent scenes which prompted me to
think that we were going down the same “silly” route as the older movies.
Specifically where the villain has the upper hand but gives that away in the
name of stupidity. Quite honestly, it’s hard not to react as I find these
insulting to an audience member… even if we are asked to suspend our disbelief.
“Before I kill you Mr. Bond… let me tell you all about my
secret plan” – It wasn’t quite this, but it felt like it at points!
There were other small moments… lines that didn’t work,
scenes that seemed to oddly escalate or others that could have used better
acting direction.
Oh, and a word on the duration. There was absolutely no need
for it to be this long. Could have easily shaved 20 to 30 minutes.
I just wished the movie was just a little bit more... tidier.
(See what I did there?)
Nonetheless, despite this small wave of criticism, it
still wasn’t enough to detract us from a great send off to both Bond and Daniel
Craig as they deliver their final and very emotional goodbye to the big
screens.
Looking forward to seeing where producers will take the
character next.
What sort of adventures will he embark on?
How will they make
the new series standout?
But more importantly, who will take on the mantle of the
most iconic spy ever to grace our screens…
Let me be upfront with you: This is not a groundbreaking documentary, but rather one that primarily serves fans such as myself.
With that said, there are still lots of benefits to those who are not as interested or acquainted.
The story-telling that takes us through the origins of Superman and the development (and redevelopment) of the character - while carrying us through the history of the world through that time - is done in a way that easily captures the attention of comic book fans and curious minds alike.
Throw on top of that the archive footage, the John Williams monumental soundtrack (the track Planet Krypton is a personal favorite), some intimate interviews and there's an emotional connection that goes straight from my upbringing, all the way up to adulthood.
If this is news to you, then let me clue you in:
Outside of my family, I have a few selected heroes, in which Superman is one of them!
Yes, I have it in for a fictional character at the age of 36.
I guess that, like many of my "distant" real life heroes, such as Tom Hanks and Mr. Fred Rogers, Superman shares the same core values, always upholding moral principles, standing for truth and justice. These have been passed on to me by my mother in particular and later on nurtured by many elements, including motion-pictures and comic books.
Created in 1938 by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster - both sons of Jewish emigrants - these two American teenagers from Cleveland, Ohio, helped shape the notion of what a superhero is.
Combining "god given" powers with human-like qualities, Superman gradually became a success in households across the US and later the world.
Since its genesis, "The Man of Steel" has taken many forms and crossed several platforms.
From newspaper clippings, comic books, radio shows, animated cartoons, a Broadway musical, live-action TV series, video-games and motion-pictures.
Out of all these mediums, I'm not quite sure which one was the first to hit home for me...
I have recollections of watching the 1966 cartoons The New Adventures of Superman, while clenching my fists, stretching my arms and saying "Up, Up and away" as I pretended to fly.
"Faster than a speeding bullet", the "Son of Krypton" was unsurprisingly becoming a personal favorite, to the effect that I started dressing up in an improvised Superman costume at the age of 7.
I can almost feel my tiny feet absolutely lost in those massively big red wellie boots that we had lying around the house.
But it was sometime before my teenage years that the hero also known as Kal-El would have a resounding effect on me, as I watched - with more mature eyes - the 1978 Superman: The Movie.
Directed by Richard Donner (who was also simultaneously filming the sequel), with a script by The Godfather famed writer Mario Puzo, the movie starred in its illustrious cast well respected names in the industry.
The headline name was movie icon and Academy award winner Marlon Brando, who was strategically approached to play Superman's father, Jor-El, so he could attract big crowds to the cinema theaters.
Brando was reportedly made the world's highest paid actor at the time, having received a whopping $3.7 million for two weeks of work, despite very limited screen-time. The other top-billing name was award-winning actor Gene Hackman, famous for movies such as The French Connection (1971) and The Conversation (1974).
It was, however, the name Christopher Reeve that would fly highest across cinemas, living rooms and people's imagination. The then unknown Julliard alumni soared to stardom and made audiences across the globe believe a man could fly.
Much to that effect, was the late Richard Donner's vision and work ethic, who always employed verisimilitude - "the appearance of being true or real" - in his cinematic approach.
The story had to have its own honesty. Everybody had to believe it was real, Donner said in a behind-the-scenes interview.
Speaking about "Dick" Donner's ability as a filmmaker, Superman's creative consultant Tom Mankiewicz (Herman Mankiewicz's nephew) said:
Dick has a talent, because of the things that are in him him as a person. He wants to believe in those myths and when you can make an audience believe that what's happening on the screen, even though its totally extraordinary, that this is actually happening... that's when you have verisimilitude!
Yet, that same ethos could only be fully executed if acted by the right performer that truly embodied the same vision as the director.
Reeve did just that and then some, taking it beyond what was ever expected.
He became instantly my favorite personification of Superman - a thought shared by many, over future generations.
Never, in any platform, has someone embodied so flawlessly the essence of both Superman and his "mild-mannered" alter-ego, Clark Kent.
Even if the dual-character portrayal asked audiences to suspend their disbelief for a man who all of the sudden becomes unrecognizable by just removing his glasses and changing up his hair, that was only made possible by Reeve's acting ability, who made it believable for the audience that no one would ever suspect that both could be the same person.
The scene alone in Donner's first film, where Clark attempts to reveal his true identity to Lois Lane is one for the ages.
The body language, the change of tone... all done in such a subtle manner, really captures the biggest challenge when playing that character.
In an interview, Reeve spoke about how he approached his role:
What makes Superman a hero is not that he has power, but that he has
the wisdom and the maturity to use the power wisely. From an acting
point of view, that's how I approached the part.
Trades that Superman would also use while taking on his Clark Kent persona, who works as a journalist for the "Daily Planet".
Evidently, this isn't a coincidence.
Working in news allowed Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman to always be a step ahead of the general public by getting breaking news first, but I like to believe, his job also gravitated towards the notion of serving the public with the truth, while also holding powerful people accountable - exactly as he would do as Superman.
Interestingly enough, it was through Superman (and Tintin) comic books that I got interested in journalism as a kid, never imagining that one day I would turn out to be one.
Anyway... I digress.
Back to the documentary...
My favorite sections - unsurprisingly - revolve around every time Reeve's name is mentioned.
Not only did he bring to life a character that had me inspired from a very young age, but also Reeve revealed himself to possess a lot of trades that I very much admired and even saw in myself.
A few things stood out to me over the years...
Reeve had a knack for being brutally honest, even if that meant creating some possible tension. Nothing seemed more important than telling the truth, or at least, his version of it.
He also came across as someone who was guided by a moral compass that would lead him into doing what he thought was right. That could be by simply being honest about his feelings and motivations or taking on social causes such as the environment.
His love for the arts was truly a standout. He often would talk about literature, painting, cinema, but it was the passion for his performing craft that really moved Reeve. Acting meant the world to him and there was very little room for compromise if that meant getting in the way of delivering the best performance within his reach.
There is some interesting archive that pretty much encompass all the things mentioned above from interview segments where he talks about working with Marlon Brando, acting tips and skills and his take on how Hollywood studios have often tarnished essential artistic components over profit.
Having said all of this, the bar was set - and it was high. I was both in awe of Donner's Superman and the man that played it.
This would often lead me into an internal dialogue about who stands out more as a hero of mine: The character or the actor?
I have come to the realization that they are one and the same, with history showing us that Reeve was the real-life Superman.
In 1995, the actor embarked on his toughest battle to date, after a life-altering accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down.
But even during his darkest times, Reeve found the energy to keep going and expanded on his work as an activist, by campaigning and investing in stem cell research, while advocating for better insurance coverage for people with disabilities through The Christopher and Dana Reeve foundation and the Reeve-Irvine Research Center.
Through a lot of courage, persistence and support, Reeve's pioneering work would break down what many deemed as controversial walls and paved the way for new methods and technology that would allow people to dream of walking again.
Worth watching Reeve's final public appearance in June 2004, where he spoke about some of his battles and accomplishments through their foundation.
It had become clear that the love Reeve poured onto others, was given back many times more over the years.
From the day of his accident, all the day up to his passing, many moments have taken place.
His appearance at the 68th Academy Awards in 1996 is one of those standout occasions.
Another compilation of moments that I will never forget was the reaction across the globe
when Reeve passed away on October 10th 2004, just 15 days after his 52nd
birthday.
I was in awe of the way people celebrated his life and legacy.
Tribute TV packages and interviews, including with some of his close friends, like Robin Williams - who had shared a dorm room with Reeve during their time at Julliard.
Newspaper cartoons were a personal favorite, with so many of them truly echoing Reeve's true nature.
I guess by now you can clearly see how Reeve continues to have a resounding effect in me.
Simple proof is how what initially started as a mere post to share the documentary, has become a small essay on Superman and the man that turned him into a true icon to millions around the world; and as I read back some of the lines I've written, I know in my heart that none of it is doing justice to either the character nor the actor...
But even with that said, I cannot control the urge and stop writing. There is
so much more I could be saying and writing, but don't want to continue drifting away from the documentary.
If you are remotely interested in any of this, you should definitely give it a go. If anything, you will get out of it with a larger sense of one of the most iconic pop-culture figures of our history.
É de coração partido que partilho que o nosso querido Pai, Duarte Mendonça, faleceu na madrugada desta Sexta-feira dia 13 no Hospital de Cascais aos 90 anos de idade.
Esta partilha estará longe de ser perfeita mas já me conformei com a ideia de que, por muito tempo que passe, a procura das palavras certas nada lhe fará inteiramente justiça. Farei o meu melhor com o que consigo nesta ocasião.
Apesar da surpresa inicial, o Pai já se encontrava debilitado faz algum tempo, tendo a situação deteriorado com alguma velocidade no início deste ano e em particular no último mês.
Foi sempre num tom “um pouco dramático” que o Pai profetizava que não passava dos 90.
"Aproveitem que depois dos 90 já cá não estou", dizia tantas vezes.
Nós não ligávamos muito e pedíamos que parasse com os disparates, sobretudo porque tínhamos em conta os hábitos “rigorosamente” saudáveis que manteve toda uma vida. Não seria difícil para nós acreditar que o Pai continuaria a cá estar - pelo menos - para além dos 100…
Agora que me recordo dessa "profecia" e numa tentativa de dar alguma leveza ao que aqui escrevo, penso no meu Pai e, teimoso e orgulhoso como é, aposto que mesmo numa altura destas faria questão de nos dizer que tinha razão…
... E como ele gostava de ter razão (uma de várias coisas que herdei)!!
Aqueles que tiveram a sorte de conhecer o meu Pai, (e / ou tiveram tempo de ler um dos artigos publicados como aquele que deixo no meu post) sabem bem que deixa para trás um legado de uma riqueza imensurável.
Levou uma vida dedicada ao jazz, tendo através dessa relação servido como um dos maiores impulsionadores culturais em Portugal, tendo inclusivamente sido reconhecido e galardoado pela Câmara de Cascais e o Ministério da Cultura.
Um de muitos feitos registados em várias plataformas, incluindo um livro sobre a sua carreira.
O Pai sempre encarou esses "milestones" (passo a referência a um dos temas mais icônicos tocados com maestria pelo Miles Davis e John Coltrane) com muito orgulho… orgulho esse que era partilhado pela família que sabia que apesar do feito, continuaria a não surtir o efeito de “missão cumprida”.
Essa nunca estaria, até que toda gente se tivesse convertido ao jazz - é de facto um amor como nunca vi!
O conhecimento enciclopédico era notório e não deixava margem para dúvidas sobre a profundidade da sua paixão.
Sabia os nomes de todos os músicos, nomes dos discos e faixas, até o ano de lançamento…
Recordo-me de o pôr à prova em várias ocasiões ao tocar umas malhas da minha playlist onde apenas de ouvido recitava a ficha técnica dos músicos envolvidos (tenho alguns destes momentos gravados).
Mas apesar do Jazz ser o seu grande amor, com o correr dos anos veio a acrescentar algo mais importante (diria eu) ao seu legado: a família.
Criou três filhos das suas duas primeiras relações, todos com as suas diferenças, mas igualmente unidos em muitas semelhanças herdadas do Pai, fosse no feitio ou nos interesses.
O notável no meio disto, é que apesar de ter filhos de Mães diferentes, a relação que foi fomentada entre os quatro era e será sempre muito especial. Diria que foi tanto nas diferenças, como nas ideias partilhadas que nos encontrámos e fortalecemos uma relação forte.
Esse foi um dos grandes sucessos do nosso Pai. Acredito piamente que este seja o maior legado que deixa para trás. Devo-lhe, entre muitas coisas, essa relação como sendo uma das melhores coisas da minha vida.
Enquanto Pai, tinha as suas lacunas (quem não as tem?)… apesar de não ter dúvidas que, se fosse questionado sobre isto, diria sem hesitar que não as tinha. Era perfeito e não cometia erros. A convicção era tal que até nisso o Pai conseguia ter encanto.
Eu dificilmente pediria melhor.
Foi um Pai fenomenal para com quem estarei eternamente grato por tudo o que tenho.
Devo-lhe muito o conforto e privilégio que tive a minha vida toda, onde não me faltou nada, desde a educação, ao desenvolvimento e exploração de outras actividades extra-curriculares, bem como o apoio o fundamental dado a minha Mãe durante tempos mais difíceis (quando nada o obrigaria a ajudar), sempre fazendo questão de estar presente nos momentos e decisões mais importantes da minha vida.
Nem sempre de acordo, é certo, mas muitos foram acompanhados com sorriso na cara.
Lembro-me particularmente da sua resistência quando disse que queria tirar jornalismo. Como Pai preocupado, e muitas vezes exagerado, disse-me que ia ser pobre ou acabar no desemprego… ainda assim, pagou-me o curso e apoio-me na ida para Londres, onde até mesmo quando consegui o estágio na CNN, continuou a estar desconfiado… mas pouco depois, encheu-se de orgulho e adorava anunciar ao mundo que eu estava encaminhado.
Acredito que, em cima disso, o que lhe trazia maior felicidade era saber que nos meios onde estava integrado, as pessoas pareciam gostar de mim. Saber que tinha ganho a simpatia das pessoas e por tabela ouvir elogios que pudessem estar associados a tal, deixava-o babado.
Assim o foi a vida toda, quando ouvia dos meus professores, funcionários da escola, dos meus amigos e dos seus Pais.
Isso, confesso, deixava-me feliz.
Não que fosse minha intenção fazer tudo para agradar o meu Pai... mas seguramente que a sua validação contava. Sobretudo depois de uma adolescência e de anos mais difíceis, onde fui uma maior dor de cabeça. De certa forma sentia que o estava a compensar por estes períodos mais complicados e a demonstrar que todo o esforço tinha sido bem investido.
Felizmente, períodos complicados foram poucos - embora todos eles importantes...
Mas os momentos bons, esses são vários...
Como os concertos de jazz onde nos sentamos lado a lado.
Ou quando tive a oportunidade de o entrevistar num formato "vídeo caseiro" onde falamos da sua vida (ficamos tanto tempo à conversa que nunca cheguei a acabar a entrevista).
As férias no Algarve.
As caminhadas na praia.
Os passeios de carro pela estrada do Guincho.
As visitas semanais lá a casa para fazer-lhe companhia a ver o Sporting.
As tardes sentados na sala de música a ouvir discos.
Os aniversários celebrados religiosamente em Família no dia 5 de Fevereiro.
A luta pelas últimas fatias de Blattertorte.
São demasiados para partilhar… uns mais caricatos e pessoais, que certamente contarei pela minha vida fora sempre que a saudade apertar.
Nem umas horas passaram e já aperta... e o pior é saber que vou ter de viver com isso todos os dias...
Mas, por muito triste e solene que seja esta ocasião, procuro tentar arrumar todas as emoções que correm pelo meu corpo enquanto escrevo esta partilha e foco nas coisas pelas quais estou grato.
Grato pela vida que levei com o meu Pai por perto... esta é de caras.
Quem me conhece bem, basta recuar no tempo para relembrar alguma da ansiedade com que vivia com a "hipótese" de perder o meu Pai mais cedo dado a sua idade avançada. Quando nasci, o Pai já ia para lá dos 50s e até me recordo de vários colegas na escola acharem que era o meu avô.
Já com essa consciência, com o decorrer dos anos sempre fui tentando estar preparado para aquilo que parecia ser inevitável. Mas a verdade é que não há nada que nos possa preparar para um momento destes. Por muitos momentos difíceis que tenhamos passado e por pessoas que tenhamos perdido pelo caminho... num momento destes, recomeçamos do zero emocionalmente.
Mas aqui estamos nós... Eu com 36 feitos há dias e com a oportunidade de estar com ele para os celebrar, dizendo que o amava depois de trocar abraços e beijinhos, que agora quase que sabem a despedida. Consigo sentir o chão a desabar por baixo de mim e as lágrimas a inundar os meus olhos só de pensar nisso.
Gostava de controlar o tempo. De por “pause”, “rewind” e “repeat” um pouco a semelhança do que faríamos com os discos.
Sobretudo, gostava de repetir esse momento, um dos nossos últimos, vezes sem conta… mas sei que agora só o volto a repetir nas minhas memórias. Ainda assim, continua a ser algo a que me posso agarrar.
"Agarra-te as boas memórias, essas ficam para sempre", li e ouvi de vários amigos.
Não sou de acreditar em verdade absolutas, mas essa certamente será uma.
Outra coisa que não acredito são os temas adjacentes à religião, como por exemplo a ideia de que o céu existe.
Embora não acredite, tenho momentos onde penso muito sobre o assunto... e sendo uma coisa na qual acreditava, numa altura destas nada me traz mais conforto do que imaginar o meu querido Pai a ser recebido pela sua Mãe, que tão cedo perdeu e que tanta falta lhe fez durante a vida.
Nisto juntam-se membros da família e amigos de uma vida inteira, como a Tia Maria João ou o Riba de quem íamos falando várias vezes e que muitas saudades deixaram...
Tudo isto ao som do Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis e outros tantos que brindam a sua chegada com boa música e muitas histórias para partilhar.
Igualmente espero que o Pai olhe por nós que cá ficamos...
Pela sua mulher (que foi incansável - no bom e no mau - durante estes anos todos), os seus filhos e netos, bem como todas as ligações fortes que fez ao longo de toda uma vida.
Tenho pena o meu Pai não consiga assistir a esta enchente de amor e reconhecimento de que o seu nome tem vindo a ser alvo.
Mas verdade seja dita, o Pai está bem ciente daquilo que deixa para trás, fruto de uma vida plena e trabalhada à volta daquilo que mais amou.
Caso para dizer que, tal e qual como o Frank Sinatra, também o Pai levou a vida à sua maneira.
Resta-me agora levar uma vida plena e feliz, onde o carrego em mim, não só no nome, mas em espírito também, que certamente continuará a perpetuar muito depois de eu cá estar, tal é a força do seu legado.
Obrigado por tudo e descanse em paz, querido Pai.
//
Não posso deixar de agradecer a todos os que já telefonaram e mandaram mensagem. Tanto eu, como o resto da nossa família, estamos gratos pela força, carinho e atenção neste momento delicado.
A quem quiser comparecer, o velório será na Segunda-feira a partir das 18.00h e o funeral na Terça-feira às 11:00, ambos no Centro Funerário em Alcabideche. Lá vos espero para que possamos recordar e celebrar a sua vida.
